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Federally​-​Funded Lesbian Farmer

by Stephanie MacIntire

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1.
Well, the folks in D.C. looked up one day And they saw that the heartland looked a little too straight So they rounded up dykes from Portland to Brooklyn To put a queer touch on the food that you're cooking Now from OK to Iowa, there's an invasion Of tough, butch gays of the female persuasion I'm a federally-funded lesbian farmer Old MacDonald better lock up his daughter I'll turn her into a man-hating feminist I'm just here to make an honest living Working hard, ploughing, tilling And when I'm done, shucks, get me a girl to kiss! Well, it seemed like the job was right on the nose 'Cause we've all got plenty of flannel clothes And it seems like farming goes much faster Behind the wheel of my Subaru tractor Yes, making things grow is great work to do And hey, little lady, I could grown on you I'm a federally-funded lesbian farmer Old MacDonald better lock up his daughter I'll turn her into a man-hating feminist I'm just here to make an honest living Working hard, ploughing, tilling And when I'm done, shucks, get me a girl to kiss!
2.
The Problem 02:47
Every day I feel like I've dozed behind the wheel My eyes are off the road and I've lost control GPS has lost its signal and my mind is growing dismal I'm out of gas and I've got nowhere to go It's the problem of our generation It's the debt that follows graduation A sinking sense of alienation from my fears And we're all suffering depression In desperate need of decompression But instead we're only living our own fears "Go to school," they said; "Pay a mint to fill your head" And they promised us a cornucopia But now there are no choice and it all just seems so pointless All we got was anhedonia Oh, my vision's getting blurred; this life just seems absurd I'm desperate for some answers to reveal And I'm just too irate to elucidate The myriad of ways this seems unreal It's the problem of our generation It's the debt that follows graduation A sinking sense of alienation from my fears And we're all suffering depression In desperate need of decompression But instead we're only living our own fears

about

We all heard the conspiracy theory that the American government is recruiting lesbian farmers to displace heterosexuals in the industry - and of course, we all wished it were true! While it sadly may not have happened in reality, it's very real in this new cowpunk romp from Stephanie MacIntire.

The B-side, "The Problem," is an anthemic rocker about the anxieties of the modern generation. A previous version was recorded by DC indie-punk band Nervous Pudding.

credits

released October 17, 2016

Stephanie MacIntire - Lead and backing vocals, guitars, bass, harmonica, drums, percussion

All songs written by Stephanie A. MacIntire
Recorded in Brooklyn, NY
Mixed and mastered by Sherman de Vries
Cover art by Tim Sparvero

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about

Stephanie MacIntire New York, New York

Loud guitars and cusses. Punk rock riot grrrl shit.

You might know me from playing on the Undertale soundtrack, or from the band Strange Lips.

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